you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Is Oprah even human
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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