Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
