Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize