Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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