Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
