the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
