Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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