is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize