So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize