i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
