Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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