You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize