MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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