is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize