oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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