I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
