I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
