Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
