I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
