Can Purell be used as lube?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
