if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
