Yo dont text me then not text me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
