OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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