I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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