Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize