I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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