just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
