Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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