TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
