JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
