I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no, he came in my armpit
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize