i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize