weddingsv make me drug and hornr
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
