I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
