I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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