Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize