Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
