You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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