would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
