Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
