Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
