who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
