so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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