We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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