My Higher Power is John Stamos
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
