Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sobbing to NWA
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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