The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
