She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
that is very illegal...i love you.
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