i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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