Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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