Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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