when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
