im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
