whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she woke up with a sticky ear
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
