shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
