gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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