You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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