I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
