dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
