Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
