3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize