its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
