the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
