Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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