Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
