Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
