The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
