What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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